Key Takeaways
Knowing what to look out for can make all the difference. Here’s what I, Sammy, learned while searching for the right place for my dad.
- Trust your gut—visible red flags often signal deeper issues with the quality of care.
- Watch for staff interactions, cleanliness, and safety protocols during the tour.
- Ask specific questions about staffing ratios, medical response times, and resident routines.
Assisted Living Red Flags: One Son’s Journey
Sammy is in his early forties, and like many others in the r/AgingParents and r/Caregivers community forums, he found myself unexpectedly thrust into the role of family caregiver. Sammy’s dad, known to be a DIY go-getter, started showing signs of early-stage dementia. Sammy managed things at home for a while, but as his father’s condition progressed, he began to wander off in the evenings while Sammy had to work. This escalation is when in-home care became more dangerous than helpful, and it was time to explore assisted living options.
Sammy’s first assisted living tour was a disaster. As fluorescent lights flickered overhead, the staff seemed too busy to answer questions. A resident yelled for help from an unattended room. These kinds of experiences aren’t uncommon and can be enough to scare even the best-intentioned family member away from continuing down the assisted living path. Like with many major life decisions, it’s important to remember that not all services and products are created equally, and thorough research and vetting will help you make a decision that you are comfortable with.
What Are the Red Flags of Bad Assisted Living Facilities?
Similar to your favorite restaurant, every facility can’t be at 110% perfection all of the time. When dealing with an aging population, emergencies are likely; however, some residents will require immediate attention, and other areas of service may experience temporary declines. However, consistent issues are cause for concern. Here are some red flag issues to be aware of.
- Unclean environments: Dirty bathrooms, overflowing trash cans, and strong odors can be signs of ongoing neglect or understaffing.
- Overworked or disengaged staff: Visible stress or dismissive behavior should signal that additional questioning may be needed.
- Lack of resident engagement: If you don’t see any activities or residents look disengaged or sad, ask why. Is the social atmosphere one you could see your loved one enjoying?
- Poor documentation: If staff can’t immediately answer questions about care plans, medication schedules, or emergency procedures, you should be concerned. This also applies to staff who fail to return your calls or emails or arrive late for appointments.
Questions to Ask During an Assisted Living Facility Tour
When you’re touring a facility, your questions should go beyond brochures and décor. Common questions say they regret not asking early on when vetting a potential facility include:
- What’s your staff-to-resident ratio during day and night shifts? Night shifts should be around one staff member per 15 residents, with one staff member per 8 residents during the day.
- What’s the emergency protocol if my parent falls or needs urgent care? Having a protocol is essential, but having the staff articulate the policy and answer any questions you may have as follow-ups is key here.
- Can I see the dining area during mealtime? Mealtime is typically a busy period for the staff and can be a stressful time. Seeing how the team manages crowds and interacts with all of the residents will be a valuable gut check for you.
Be aware of your surroundings as you walk around the facility, and don’t fall into the lull of a sales pitch as you walk through a facility. Take note of whether the staff are rushing their answers or appear to be being honest. Do residents appear groomed and comfortable as you pass by social gatherings or open doors?
What Sammy Learned After Touring Facilities
By the fifth tour, Sammy’s checklist was in hand, and his process had been fine-tuned, allowing him to spot red flags with each stop better, while also picking up on the positives each facility offered. The best facility didn’t have the nicest lobby, but it did have a staff member who greeted every resident by name, the grounds were spotless, and the staff was able to share their resident council meeting notes.
This was in stark contrast to a facility that rushed through a sales pitch and ignored questions about available TV channels.
Elder care is about people, not appearances.
Ultimately, for Sammy’s dad, a mid-sized community that focused on memory care was the right choice.
